Artist Statement
In my culture, it is normal to be physically punished for doing something bad. I guess we don't realize the long term effects of being abused. It wasn't just me, and it was my cousins and my siblings. But as I look back, I realized that my grandma would find reasons to hurt me. I guess that's what hurts the most, that she couldn't accept who I was, instead of flat out telling me that she would go out of her way to make sure I felt unaccepted. She is a Puerto Rican Catholic so very religious, you can only be one way with her, and if you're not that one way you are unloved and unwelcomed.
During those summer vacations to Puerto Rico, I knew that I couldn't rely on my grandma to show me love. So I looked outside of myself and outside of what a relationship could be, and outside of a relationship between people and more of the relationship between my environment and the world around me to find that acceptance. In architecture, I found reliability in color and shape and in repeating images and being able to breathe in that environment. Going outside onto the front porch, which had tiles for the floor, a fenced-in area with a roof, I put out my Maca, which is a hammock, and I knew that I was safe there. I knew that I could be myself.
The inanimate objects that I was surrounded with couldn’t talk to me, but in a way, they did communicate with me. They were beautiful even when I was in so much pain. I was able to look around me and to see that life goes on and that there is always change. And at that moment in time, I felt that this was just going to be how I felt the rest of my life. Realizing this is such a beautiful place that I am in right now like someone put the time and effort into making this into a beautiful place to inhabit. It changed my relationship with environments in general. To make something that someone else could appreciate and not try to change and to accept.
My artwork is about the relationships between inanimate objects and the viewer. Color is an immensely important part of our lives, and we are surrounded by it. Specifically, blue is a significant hue to me. My connection to it is filled with metaphor, emotion, and meaning. I make ceramic and printed tiles because they are a small detail, but they add so much to where you are. In Puerto Rico, they are functional, ceramic tile has a purpose, it gets wet, it dries, but there is the other side where it's a design meant to be looked at and admired and to be enjoyed. There is the purpose of function and the purpose of the enjoyment. My artwork rides that line of function and creates joy in a space.
I see myself contributing to the community by stepping out of the box of social constructs and using painful experiences to create beauty and comfort to the viewers. It is my intent that by expressing myself with color and media that the audience will be impacted and moved to have a conversation about abuse and the outcomes of it.
